Raven’s Land

The concentration section of the AP portfolio has to be the hardest. The Bredth section isn’t that challenging as long as you’re will to expand your artistic ability and are able to successfully experiment with various techniques. The concentration is so bloody hard because you can’t ever really decide fully on what you want it to be…

You’re lucky if you can come up with a concentration and stick with it for so long and not get irritated or bored with it before all is said and done.

Mine, of course is merging human figures with various forms of nature. I’ve also added working with different light sources, shadows, foreshortening, and symbolic content.

Take “Raven’s Land” for example. It’s a self portrait with ravens, right? There is also a pretty powerful symbol (at least to me personally) in that picture. The people I showed it to told me that it made them sad and that it gave them an overwhelming sense of death. i can only assume that they came up with that because of the ravens and the use of the color green. If you look a little closer though, you can see that I’m actually smiling in the picture and I don’t think death is really something to smile about. From a magickal aspect, the raven represents a message and the exploration of the unknown. With that said, my self-portrait represents my artistic ability and my exploration through the various areas. the message comes from my own personal muse.

Some advise on concentrations: don’t limit yourself.

break it up into pieces and use various reference points and perspectives. That’s why my concentration isn’t only focused on human figures and nature, it’s multiple things.

I’ve actually managed to find three people with the same dreamy imagination as I do. One of them is my buddy Patrick whom I’ve known for nearly four years and is responsible for this site and taking care of all of my pictures as well as offering any inspirational insight he can. The other is my sister from a past life, Nikki and (more recently) my boyfriend John. These three people have managed to help me pull through and I suspect will always continue to do so.

Just thought I’d thank these people before I continued even further.

…and all the world around you feels like a never ending merry-go-round.

Ever been standing still and everything around you feels surreal and has an odd shade of blue and the ground below you seems to be moving? Almost as if you stepped into one of Pablo Picasso’s Blue Period paintings. Insomnia causes your equilibrium to go off balance and sends you falling in slow motion. You know the look. That single shot of a person’s face where they have a random look of euphoria about them that you only see at Ecstasy clubs or in Hollywood film…… That’s how it is with insomnia — a movie. All the worlds a movie and you always sit back and wonder how in the hell your life can be summed up in a two hour long film and be viewed by people of different minds for the price of an admission ticket.

I had a dream once… or a least I think I did. You never know with insomnia. because when you get into that state where you’re so bloody tired you can’t sleep, you aren’t really asleep and you aren’t really awake.

My dream was blue– Very much like the blue I described earlier. I was wandering aimlessly by the creek of my nightmares by my old apartment building. Since the world was in an endless blue filter, the yellowing concrete walls seemed gray and the green murky water was ink black. I made my way to the middle of one of the concrete bridges that overlooked the forbidden creek. As i stared into the water, I could feel my whole body become weightless- as if floating in water- and I could hear myself giving up. I didn’t care anymore. My existence was meaningless and breathing was becoming painful. As I continued to think this way, I began to notice a tingling sensation at my fingertips. I looked down and realized that I was slowly becoming transparent. At first, i was frightened but then my mind wandered and I was beginning to let go -embracing everything with an optimistic attitude. Then I heard something crash a short distance from were my transparent entity stood (more like hovered). It was a stout young boy who had fallen off of his bicycle. For a moment, he stayed where he had landed face first in the gravel and then shot up and grabbed at his knee. A substance similar to black ink was running down his leg and I can only assume that this was blood. I walked over to see what was the matter. The young boy looked up at me with pitiful looking eyes and asked for help. I smiled and leaned in to take care of his slight injury, but found that I couldn’t. Not only was I see-through, I couldn’t touch anything. My hands were going strait through everything. It was maddening! I tried desperately to help him but couldn’t seem to gain form. The relentless feeling of giving up was consuming my being, literally and I couldn’t do anything to prevent it. I clenched my eyes shut and screamed……… I awoke to color. All around me was green. The asphalt was graying and the red stains from the young boys fall littered the pavement. he asked once again for help and this time I could help him. I bandaged him up and the wiped the innocent crocodile tears from his mopey eyes and helped him back onto his bike. i said, “It never hurts to try.” and he smiled and rode away.

Then I woke up…. or maybe I realized that I was daydreaming and the people in the back of the line at Starbucks were growing impatient and it flung me back into reality…. whatever that is.